Having good manners is all about making other people feel at ease and not uncomfortable.
Maybe if you mix with people who fart freely, scratch themselves whenever they need to, etc, it would be good manners to do the same?
Nah!

For clarity I must let you know that the equality part of the question was meant not as Rob suggested- equality in that manner. I meant it more as in the behaviors being equal, as in equally disgusting.

Rob, my friend, as always you seem to give me the exact response I'm looking for when I post these kinds of things. And I agree with you completely! Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. I like getting equal pay for equal work. The gender you are should not have any impact on the salary. As for the rest, here's how I see it:

1. If a woman has the (pardon me) gonads to step up and hit a man- he should be able to hit her back. None of this he's a man bit and he could hurt her. Incidentally, I raised my sons this way. Why is it a female feels it's allowable to hit a man and get away with it. That's utter b.s. While I make comments to the effect of kicking someone's behind, it's not without provocation. I don't go looking to beat up on people. But there are those women who do this.

2. I like being treated like a lady. I like my door being opened, my chair held, someone giving me their arm to hold while they escort me, etc. And the men who do these things get my most charming and sincere smile, as well as my gratitude.

3. I don't like to have sexual conversations in public places as they a) embarrass me and b) have no place there. Some call me a prude. And they can continue to do as I'm not going to explain to them what is wrong with their thinking. I just make sure not to hang out with them publicly.

4. Cursing- well I have been known to drop the F bomb in public. It's usually when I've lost my temper and it zips past my lips before I can pull it back. Like Dreamer though, I don't curse in front of children or older people. Even whilst mad in public. (I'm working on this habit. But it's somewhat difficult as I'm around it at work.)

5. As I said in another thread, there are moments when I have a great deal of what's called male type behavior. However, luckily this is rare and even then I am still feminine. And it doesn't ever encompass any of the "ladism" aspects. When I'm girly girl, it's full on girly with all that encompasses. Meaning I can dress myself up and be taken out.

I completely agree. If a woman is going to lash out then she best be prepared for the same in return.

The door I agree with.. and I do that in return regardless of whether it's man, woman or child coming through behind me. The arm... I'm not so sure about lol If Gary offered his arm to me while we were out, I'd be very suspicious...

Again, while I'm not a prude either, I also don't think that public places are the place for those kinds of conversations.

I don't use the F-word ... I curse and use the more minor words... but I have no issues with people using the F-word, I just think there's a time and a place... as you said... when you're angry, etc... it's the women who use it every other word in every sentence that I can't be doing with.

Yes, I can associate with the male-type behaviour, I'm sure Gary will take great delight in bringing that up, in fact I don't consider myself to be a girly girl, but I still can dress myself up if the need arises.. and I suppose I can pull off feminine if need be

Oh and I forgot- I never, ever say "Have a nice anything unless I a) mean it or b) I'm being sarcastic. I've asked several of these poor people who say it if they actually meant it, only to have them get embarrassed. And have even gone so far as to ask, what if I don't want to have a nice day? I did steal that from a movie as I thought it quite funny. And only once did someone say- well, then don't have a nice day. I applauded them. (small polite golf clap)

I couldn't agree more. If anyone hits me, they should expect to get a slap back. I don't like violence, though, and prefer to avoid it wherever possible. I think that people who resort to violence generally do so because they don't have the intelligence to settle things in a non-physical manner (the exception being those who use violence to protect themselves or others from harm).

I was raised to believe you don't slap women. However, having grown up in a home with a physically abusive stepfather, I also believe I've been hit far too often in my life. Hit me and I won't necessarily hit back, but if you go for a second blow I guarantee I will. That said, where possible the best response to violence is to walk away, and that's what I usually try to do.

Again, I agree, but it has to work both ways. When I go through a door I always check to see if there is someone coming in behind me. If there is, I hold the door open regardless of who they are. If I reach a door and there is someone else waiting to go through, I will normally hold the door open and let them through. I also admit, I am more likely to hold a door open for a woman than for a man (unless he's really cute, but then I do it so I can stare at his arse as he walks away).

However, over the last few weeks I've noted a couple of occasions where a woman has gone through a shop door, looked around to see if someone is following, seen there is a man behind her and just let the door go. Once that man was me. The door hit my arm. I will wait until I respond to the paragraph about swearing before I tell you what I said. The second time it was an older man. The door hit him hard and nearly knocked him over. The woman, in her twenties, laughed at him.

With me, no topic is off-limits. The only times I won't answer a question is if doing so will break a confidence or if there is someone I need to speak to first. That said, I do try to be aware of the people around me and if I am in a place where something I am talking about might offend someone, I try to avoid the conversation. I find nothing offensive about talking about sex in public - or even talking in public about sex - but others do and I try to respect that. As should anyone else who understands the meaning of the word "manners".

I curse. For me, they are just words. It is not the words you use that should offend, but how you use them. The word "fuck", for example, has so many different meanings and uses, and some of them are complimentary rather than offensive:

"That was a fucking good meal" - hardly offensive unless you object to the word.

"That meal tasted like dung" - no swearing, but much more offensive.

It is not the words you use, but how you use them that should determine if something is offensive. I will swear when I'm happy and when I'm angry. When that woman let that door go and it his my arm, I referred to her as a "vile c**t-whore from hell". Offensive? Yes, but I was offended by her actions and also physically injured by them, so I feel no remorse (though I have starred out a portion of the word as a number of people are funny about it).

For me, words are just words. I avoid swearing in front of children. I avoid swearing in polite company wherever possible. However, if the situation calls for it, I will happily let loose a colourful chorus of words.

Rob

I hold doors too. And no I don't let them go on other people. Although I do get mad when I've been left standing like the door man for a bit. Ahhh Rob used the c- word. I love that word and it doesn't offend me. I would have LMAO had I heard you.

As for the public sex talks, to each their own. As Hattie mentioned it depends on the place for certain types of behavior and talk. If it's low key kind of talk, perhaps, I'd be willing to let that go. But when the guy behind me is super fin and my GF screams out "God! I'd f*** him in a hot minute" within his hearing...I'm sliding to the floor in mortification. Or letting him know I'm sorry but she forgot to take her medication this morning. Just me. I'm just more covert I guess in my admiration. You know, sly smile and happy eyes. Her sentence belongs more in a strip club rather than a diner, no?

See now theres one thing I dont agree with, striking a woman!

I can remember years ago getting punched in the face by a Lass I knew, because i'd pissed her off somehow and she decided to smack me one.

My reaction?..... well after just standing there for a few seconds, I laughed, in fact I nigh on wet myself laughing as the look on her face as she hit me, and the resulting fury of my lack of reaction was priceless...
In the end she started laughing also, we hugged and ended up as good friends afterwards.

Now she hit me, and she hit me pretty hard considering her size...but could not muster enough strength to do me any major damage, but what would've happened if i'd hit her?
Take lisa as an example...... about 9(ish) stones of her, and while im sure she could swing them scouse knuckles with a reasonable amount of force, I know, and im sure she knows its unlikely to sit my 18 stones on its arse, unless she gets lucky..... and if I chose to hit her back, she would probably not be getting up for a while.

OK there are some hefty ladies in this world who probably could give me as good as I got, but I still cant justify striking a woman just for getting hit by them.
As I once said to lisa, the only time i'd willingly hit her would be if she kicked me in the balls on purpose, or if she came at me with a knife, then it would have to be open season....lol


As for woman acting badly, I hate to see it......... but as lisa says, I swear a lot, I burp, I fart and I can be as coarse as hell when the mood takes me...BUT there is a time and a place for it, and when in certain company, I can behave quite civilised and have appropriate manners I can bring to the table as it were, many of the young lads and ladettes I see these days seem unable to do so.

I wouldnt like to see a return to the 1950's with women chained to the sink, and men in charge of their wifes destiny.....but I would like to see a return to women actually being ladies, not hard drinking, hard fighting burping and farting machines we see on pretty much any reality police show, falling out of the pubs and clubs pissed out of their heads.

I'm not suggesting that its any better seeing men doing it, but I personally want to be with a woman who acts like a woman and who I can respect AS a woman......and I do respect lisa..as she says, she rarely swears, she is mostly polite with people......I say mostly because if she doesnt like the look of someone, she will ignore them, or be very short with them, where I will talk to anyone...lol
She does however have good manners 99% of the time, knows how to conduct herself, and actually LOOKS like a woman when we go out ......not that I have anything against manly looking women, theyre just not for me....

Annakey and Helena are now invited to my candlelight supper...

Helena: But tell me, why should women want engage in such unseemly, antisocial behaviours?
Annakey: They already belched, shat, and picked their noses. They just didn't do it where anyone else could see.
Phillipic: Will that be one lump or two?
Helena: I don't understand. Western Civilization will crumble if the gentler sex acknowledge their biology publicly!
Annakey: You mean parading it on television and "Girls Gone Wild" tapes was more appropriate to you?
Phillipic: You must try my souffl?!
Helena: I remember when young ladies would have been mortified to let their potential suitors know they were menstruating.
Annakey: Now they buy tampons without cringing, and that's not progress? What did you think would come next?
Phillipic: Will you be joining me on a river cruise tomorrow?
Helena: Don't the females of today appreciate what their parents and grandparents have done for them?
Annakey: Yes, this is 'liberation.' One must CHOOSE to have manners and know why they matter.
Phillipic: This poached salmon is delicious.
Helena: I think etiquette and social graces will decline until all our youth are as animals of rut and ruin.
Annakey: I think you're forgetting that we've managed to survive millions of years without them.
Phillipic: There's just a whisper of cyanide in my creme brulee!

I'll thank you not to put words in my mouth. If you don't agree with what I wrote that's fine. However, I don't like your mocking me as it's unnecessary. And that's how I perceived your little scenario above.

That's too bad. It was hardly intended as anything above farce. "Keeping Up Appearances" is an atrocious show. I made myself into a blithering, evil sort of Hyacinth and everything, and that would almost certainly be a reduction to the absurd, on my part. Does this mean you're not staying for dessert?